A Change of Course

a-change-of-course

When God speaks impossibilities to us, we often shake our heads in unbelief.  Yet, deep within a seed is planted and it’s life cannot be denied.  And just as a seed silently transforms and bursts forth days, months, or even years later, it takes time for God’s impossibilities to be made visible.

Waiting is not our nature as human beings.  We like things instant, available, effortless, and known.  The American culture is especially vulnerable to toxic rush.  We plan more than we can do.  We have difficulty saying no to opportunities that may give us a platform to shine.  We don’t like the unknown, and we worry when we don’t know the whole story before us.

But, waiting is woven into the nature of God and how He relates to us.

His words declare it over and over.

In 1978, my husband and I had a heart to heart. Mike mourned the fact of going ahead with a vasectomy after our second son was born.  He did it for me but always wanted more children.

The story started ten years before, right after I came home from the hospital with our infant son.  I’d been on birth control before and resumed my practice of taking the pills.  Within days, I began to experience a heightened energy in my nervous system.  My body vibrated inside.  It felt as if every nerve was at attention and sticking out a foot from my skin.  When someone entered the room, I felt panic. I made them leave, or I left.  Caring for our infant son was about all I could handle.  Everyone else was off limits.  My heart raced, and my head pounded.

What is this?  What is happening to me and why?  I scheduled an appointment with my doctor.

After describing the symptoms to him, he said, “You need to get off the birth control pills.  If you don’t, you will either end up in a psych ward or have a heart attack. Consider other methods.  I would suggest a vasectomy for your husband.”

When I told Mike about this, he was quiet.  He saw the distress I’d been under and now he realized that this was serious.  He went ahead with the vasectomy.

Life went on, as life does and we enjoyed ten years raising our two sons.  We had our ups and downs but, life was good.  I was looking forward the boys becoming teens so I could assist in more ministry at church.

Now, these ten years later, Mike was telling me he regretted his decision.  While he didn’t say it was my fault, that is how I felt.

God gave him a dream.  In the dream, he saw a little girl he knew was his daughter.  For months he’d wrestled in his mind about how he could have a daughter unless he married to another woman.  I’d already told him, “No more children.”

One night, soon after being filled with the Holy Spirit, I poured out my prayer.  “God, You know I haven’t wanted more children.  You know I don’t think I could mother another child, but Mike says You’ve shown him that he has a daughter.  Is this Your dream or his?”  I waited.

Maybe this is His idea, I reasoned.  Maybe He is waiting for my willingness.  My thoughts tumbled over trying to make sense, trying to hear.

Later, words emblazoned themselves in my mind“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” 2   Holy Spirit was speaking.

Without warning, like oil dropped on water, everything looked different.  I wasn’t alone in this adventure.  Christ was in me now.  He would help me be a mother if that was God’s will.

Again I went to God, “I am willing God if this is Your will.”

“It is My will.  You will have a little girl,” He said.

“Okay, God.  If I am to have a daughter, then help me pick out her name tonight.”

I grabbed my Bible and headed for the kitchen table.  I sat with my concordance open looking for women’s names.  “Elizabeth?  No, the kids would call her Lizzy.   How about Mary?  No, I didn’t want her thinking she needed to be like me.  Deborah?  Rebecca?  Sarah?”

When I got to Sarah, the Spirit rested on me.  I knew that was her name.

“God, I will welcome Sarah with open arms.  I trust You to help me raise her.  May she learn to love You as I do.”

I couldn’t wait to tell Mike.

The next day I went to Kmart and bought a baby bib and an infant gown sprinkled with tiny rosebuds.  Then I went to the thrift store and bought myself a maternity top.  That night after supper I took Mike to the bedroom and showed him my purchases.

He looked puzzled.  “What’s this?

“Last night God told me that we are going to have a daughter.  I’m ready to be a mom,” I said as tears welled up in my eyes.  “I don’t know how this is going to happen, but I believe God.” Now Mike was tearing up.

I know this sounds crazy to all you who are reading, but for the next few months, we tried for the divine conception.

Okay, I hear you laughing.

We both believed that if God said it, He would do it.

We continued with our intimacy trusting God to work a miracle.  We were excited about the possibility.

One month, two months, three months passed.  Expectations remained unmet.

Mike and I decided to go away for our anniversary weekend.  The next morning at the motel, we turned on the T.V. to see if we could find some news.  The Phil Donohue Show was first up on the screen.  He was interviewing a doctor about a new procedure to reverse vasectomies. We both looked at each other in shock.

We sat on the end of the bed, eyes glued to the set.  They showed part of the procedure and explained its pros and cons.  In the end, Phil suggested to his audience, “Check with your doctors to see if it is available in your area.”

“This could be our answer,” I said to Mike.  “But what about insurance?  It doesn’t cover childbirth.  I doubt it will cover this.”

“I don’t know,” he said.  “All we can do is ask.”

And ask we did.  On Monday morning I was on the phone with my doctor and the insurance company.  “Yes, I know of a surgeon in the area that does this procedure,” said my doctor.  “Let me get you the number.”

Then I called the insurance company. “Yes, we cover that procedure in full,” the representative said.

“Are you sure?  You don’t cover childbirth.”

“I know, that does sound strange, but we do cover this surgery.”

Long story short—Mike had the surgery on one side only.

“It is a new procedure,” said the surgeon.  “If this doesn’t work, you can still have the other side done later.  They may perfect their techniques.”   Mike and I knew it would work, and that is what I told the doctor.

“This will work because God said we are going to have a baby daughter.”  He shook his head and looked at me as if I needed psychiatric counseling.

I got pregnant in February of 1979. My obstetrician wanted to do an ultrasound.  I was 35 years old.  “Because of your age, I feel it is necessary.  Older mothers sometimes have difficulty giving birth to healthy babies,” he said.

“No, ultrasound.  This baby is a little girl, and she will be completely healthy.

God said.”

He thought I was crazy.

Sarah Catherine was born November 29th, a week after Thanksgiving.  Her baby picture looks like she’d been skiing because of the heat lamp they put her under. But she was one healthy baby. And by the time of her birth, the insurance policies had changed.  All of the obstetrics costs and my hospital stay were covered in full.

I and Sarah-hospital       sarah           Mike and Sarah-hospital

My girlfriend, whose baby girl was born about the time I got pregnant, gave me all her maternity clothes and baby clothes. We didn’t have to buy anything for Sarah for the first five years of her life.  God covered it all.

God is faithful to His word beyond anything or anyone I know.

Nothing is impossible to Him and His word is always worth the wait.

 

1 Ephesians 2:10

2 Philippians 4:13

 

 

~~ How About You? ~~

Are you waiting on a word that God spoke?  Does it look impossible?

Have you considered Joseph, who had dreams of ruling over his family?  He went through many trials and difficulty for fourteen years before he saw his dreams come true.

God told Jeremiah that He watches over His word to perform it.

1 Kings 8:56 records this testimony: “Blessed be the LORD, who has given rest to His people Israel, according to all that He promised. There has not failed one word of all His good promise, which He promised through His servant Moses.”

God is faithful to His word.  You can trust Him to fulfill all He told you.  The timing is His.  The details are His.

Isaiah 46:9-10 says:

Remember the former things of old,

For I am God, and there is no other;

I am God, and there is none like Me,

10 Declaring the end from the beginning,

And from ancient times things that are not yet done,

Saying, ‘My counsel shall stand,

And I will do all My pleasure,’

 So while you wait, thank Him for His faithfulness. Celebrate His word as if it is already done.  In fact, He has already seen it and declared it to you.

 

4 thoughts on “A Change of Course

  1. Mary Ellen – I am loving reading your blog! Such a blessing!!!

    Suzanne (Missouri friend of you, Linda and Vicky)

    On Mon, Sep 5, 2016 at 11:23 AM, Hear Gods Heart wrote:

    > maryellenwright posted: ” When God speaks impossibilities to us, we often > shake our heads in unbelief. Yet, deep within a seed is planted and it’s > life cannot be denied. And just as a seed silently transforms and bursts > forth days, months, or even years later, it takes time fo” >

  2. Hi Mary Ellen. I’ve “met” you on My 500 Words. Thank you for sharing your story here. I especially like stories of God’s working in giving the gift of children.

    God had different plans for me than I expected with most of our children, as far as who were boys and who were girls. And the only dream I had was just before my 3rd daughter was born… baby was telling me it was time, and she wanted out. In my dream the baby was a girl who looked just like her older brother, with the same shock of dark hair. That dream proved to be true on a dozen points, and was so amazing to both my husband and me!

    The Lord led us not to use birth control, but to trust Him for the number of children, and the intervals at which they came. We married late — I was 28, Ian was almost 34. The Lord gave us 7 children, the first 6 coming in 10 years. Then, when I was 46, He gave us Nathaniel — my easiest pregnancy and delivery, and my first home birth!

    My youngest 4 were born when I was 35 and older. They were all “easy”, and all perfectly normal and healthy. And right now, I’m so glad He gave us children so late in life, because we are now 63 and 68 with NO grandchildren! Not yet, that is. We are waiting, just as our children await spouses who love Him.

  3. What a story you have Willena. You must have an abundance of energy to keep up with your wonderful family. Grandchildren are the best. Something to look forward to for sure.
    God is truly amazing in how He answers our prayers and gifts us with little ones to love and teach. Thank you for sharing your family with me. God bless you.

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